小田原熱海間に、軽便鉄道敷設の工事が始まったのは、良平の八つの年だった。良平は毎日村外れへ、その工事を見物に行った。工事を――といったところが、唯トロッコで土を運搬する――それが面白さに見に行ったのである。
The construction of the light railway line between Odawara and Atami began the year Ryohei turned eight. Every day Ryohei went out to the edge of the village to watch the work in progress. The work — though to call it work is perhaps too much — amounted to no more than hauling earth back and forth on a trolley; it was simply that which he found so fascinating to watch.
トロッコの上には土工が二人、土を積んだ後に佇んでいる。トロッコは山を下るのだから、人手を借りずに走って来る。煽るように車台が動いたり、土工の袢天の裾がひらついたり、細い線路がしなったり――良平はそんなけしきを眺めながら、土工になりたいと思う事がある。せめては一度でも土工と一しょに、トロッコへ乗りたいと思う事もある。トロッコは村外れの平地へ来ると、自然と其処に止まってしまう。と同時に土工たちは、身軽にトロッコを飛び降りるが早いか、その線路の終点へ車の土をぶちまける。それから今度はトロッコを押し押し、もと来た山の方へ登り始める。良平はその時乗れないまでも、押す事さえ出来たらと思うのである。
On the trolley, two navvies stood behind the heaped-up earth. Since the trolley was coming down the mountain, it ran along by itself, needing no hand to push it. The frame of the car would rock as if it were being fanned along, the skirts of the workmen's happi coats would flutter, the slender rails would bend and sway — and watching such sights, Ryohei sometimes found himself wishing he could become a navvy. He even wished, at the very least, that he might ride the trolley once, alongside the workmen. When the trolley reached the level ground at the edge of the village, it would come to a stop there of its own accord. And at that same moment the workmen, no sooner had they leapt lightly down from it, than they tipped the load of earth out at the end of the track. Then, in their turn, they would begin pushing the trolley back up toward the mountain it had come from. Ryohei, even if he could not ride it then, wished that he might at least be allowed to push.
或夕方、――それは二月の初旬だった。良平は二つ下の弟や、弟と同じ年の隣の子供と、トロッコの置いてある村外れへ行った。トロッコは泥だらけになったまま、薄明るい中に並んでいる。が、その外は何処を見ても、土工たちの姿は見えなかった。三人の子供は恐る恐る、一番端にあるトロッコを押した。トロッコは三人の力が揃うと、突然ごろりと車輪をまわした。良平はこの音にひやりとした。しかし二度目の車輪の音は、もう彼を驚かさなかった。ごろり、ごろり、――トロッコはそう云う音と共に、三人の手に押されながら、そろそろ線路を登って行った。
One evening — it was early in February. Ryohei went with his younger brother, two years his junior, and a neighbor's child of the same age as his brother, out to the edge of the village where the trolleys were kept. The trolleys, still caked with mud, stood in a row in the faint evening light. But look where one might, beyond that, not a single workman was to be seen. The three children, timidly, gave a push to the trolley standing at the very end of the row. When the strength of the three of them came together, the trolley suddenly gave its wheels a lurching turn. Ryohei felt a chill run through him at this sound. But the second turn of the wheels no longer startled him. Rumble, rumble — with that sound, pushed along by the hands of the three children, the trolley slowly began climbing the track.
その内にかれこれ十間程来ると、線路の勾配が急になり出した。トロッコも三人の力では、いくら押しても動かなくなった。どうかすれば車と一しょに、押し戻されそうにもなる事がある。良平はもう好いと思ったから、年下の二人に合図をした。
By and by, after they had come some ten ken or so, the grade of the track began to grow steep. However hard the three of them pushed, the trolley with their strength alone would no longer move. At times it even threatened to push them backward, car and all. Ryohei, thinking this was enough, gave a signal to the two younger boys.
「さあ、乗ろう！」
"Come on, let's get on!"
彼等は一度に手をはなすと、トロッコの上へ飛び乗った。トロッコは最初徐ろに、それから見る見る勢よく、一息に線路を下り出した。その途端につき当りの風景は、忽ち両側へ分かれるように、ずんずん目の前へ展開して来る。顔に当る薄暮の風、足の下に躍るトロッコの動揺、――良平は殆ど有頂天になった。
All together they let go at once and leapt up onto the trolley. At first it moved slowly, but then, gathering speed before their eyes, it went rushing straight down the track in a single breath. In that instant the scenery ahead seemed to part suddenly to either side, unfolding rapidly before their eyes. The evening wind striking their faces, the trolley shuddering beneath their feet — Ryohei was all but beside himself with joy.
しかしトロッコは二三分の後、もうもとの終点に止まっていた。
But within two or three minutes the trolley had already come to a stop back at the original end of the line.
「さあ、もう一度押すじゃあ」
"Come on, let's push it up once more."
良平は年下の二人と一しょに、又トロッコを押し上げにかかった。が、まだ車輪も動かない内に、突然彼等の後には、誰かの足音が聞え出した。のみならずそれは聞え出したと思うと、急にこう云う怒鳴り声に変った。
Ryohei, together with the two younger boys, set about pushing the trolley up the slope once more. But before the wheels had even begun to turn, they suddenly heard footsteps behind them. And no sooner had those footsteps become audible than they changed abruptly into an angry shout.
「この野郎！ 誰に断ってトロに触った？」
"You little devils! Who gave you leave to touch the trolley?"
其処には古い印袢天に、季節外れの麦藁帽をかぶった、背の高い土工が佇んでいる。――そう云う姿が目にはいった時、良平は年下の二人と一しょに、もう五六間逃げ出していた。――それぎり良平は使の帰りに、人気のない工事場のトロッコを見ても、二度と乗って見ようと思った事はない。唯その時の土工の姿は、今でも良平の頭の何処かに、はっきりした記憶を残している。薄明りの中に仄めいた、小さい黄色の麦藁帽、――しかしその記憶さえも、年毎に色彩は薄れるらしい。
There stood a tall workman, in an old happi coat marked with the shop's crest, wearing a straw hat quite out of season. — By the time this figure had registered in his eyes, Ryohei, along with the two younger boys, had already fled five or six ken away. — From that time on, even when he saw a trolley standing unattended at the deserted work site on his way back from an errand, he never again felt like getting on one and trying it. Only the figure of that workman still remains, even now, a clear memory somewhere in Ryohei's mind: a small yellow straw hat glimmering faintly in the dim light — though even that memory, it seems, grows a little fainter in color with each passing year.
その後十日余りたってから、良平は又たった一人、午過ぎの工事場に佇みながら、トロッコの来るのを眺めていた。すると土を積んだトロッコの外に、枕木を積んだトロッコが一輛、これは本線になる筈の、太い線路を登って来た。このトロッコを押しているのは、二人とも若い男だった。良平は彼等を見た時から、何だか親しみ易いような気がした。「この人たちならば叱られない」――彼はそう思いながら、トロッコの側へ駈けて行った。
More than ten days after that, Ryohei, quite alone once more, stood at the work site one afternoon watching the trolleys come and go. Then, besides the trolleys loaded with earth, there came climbing up the thick rail-line meant to become the main track a single trolley loaded with railway ties. The two men pushing this trolley were both young. From the moment Ryohei saw them, he felt, somehow, that they seemed easy to get along with. "These two won't scold me" — thinking so, he ran over to the side of the trolley.
「おじさん。押してやろうか？」
"Mister. Shall I push for you?"
その中の一人、――縞のシャツを着ている男は、俯向きにトロッコを押したまま、思った通り快い返事をした。
One of them — the man wearing a striped shirt — kept his head bowed as he pushed the trolley, and gave, just as Ryohei had thought he would, a good-natured reply.
「おお、押してくよう」
"Sure, go ahead and push."
良平は二人の間にはいると、力一杯押し始めた。
Ryohei stepped in between the two men and began pushing with all his strength.
「われは中中力があるな」
"You've got quite a bit of strength in you, don't you."
他の一人、――耳に巻煙草を挟んだ男も、こう良平を褒めてくれた。
The other man — the one with a hand-rolled cigarette tucked behind his ear — praised Ryohei with these words too.
その内に線路の勾配は、だんだん楽になり始めた。「もう押さなくとも好い」――良平は今にも云われるかと内心気がかりでならなかった。が、若い二人の土工は、前よりも腰を起したぎり、黙黙と車を押し続けていた。良平はとうとうこらえ切れずに、怯ず怯ずこんな事を尋ねて見た。
By and by the grade of the track gradually began to ease. "You needn't push any more now" — Ryohei was inwardly anxious, fearing he might be told this at any moment. But the two young workmen only straightened up a little more than before, and went on pushing the car in silence. In the end Ryohei could not bear it any longer, and, timidly, he ventured to ask this question.
「何時までも押していて好い？」
"May I go on pushing as long as I like?"
「好いとも」
"Of course you may."
二人は同時に返事をした。良平は「優しい人たちだ」と思った。
The two men answered together, at the same moment. Ryohei thought, "What kind people they are."
五六町余り押し続けたら、線路はもう一度急勾配になった。其処には両側の蜜柑畑に、黄色い実がいくつも日を受けている。
After they had gone on pushing for five or six cho and more, the track once again grew steep. There, in the mikan orchards on either side, yellow fruit hung here and there catching the sunlight.
「登り路の方が好い、何時までも押させてくれるから」――良平はそんな事を考えながら、全身でトロッコを押すようにした。
"An uphill road is better — they let you go on pushing as long as you like" — thinking such thoughts, Ryohei set about pushing the trolley with his whole body.
蜜柑畑の間を登りつめると、急に線路は下りになった。縞のシャツを着ている男は、良平に「やい、乗れ」と云った。良平は直に飛び乗った。トロッコは三人が乗り移ると同時に、蜜柑畑の匀を煽りながら、ひた辷りに線路を走り出した。「押すよりも乗る方がずっと好い」――良平は羽織に風を孕ませながら、当り前の事を考えた。「行きに押す所が多ければ、帰りに又乗る所が多い」――そうもまた考えたりした。
When they had climbed all the way up through the mikan orchards, the track suddenly turned downhill. The man in the striped shirt said to Ryohei, "Hey, hop on." Ryohei jumped on at once. The moment all three had climbed aboard, the trolley set off sliding smoothly down the track, stirring up the scent of the mikan orchards as it went. "Riding is a great deal better than pushing" — Ryohei thought this most obvious of thoughts, letting the wind fill out his haori jacket. "The more places there are to push on the way there, the more there'll be to ride on the way back" — this too he found himself thinking.
竹藪のある所へ来ると、トロッコは静かに走るのを止めた。三人は又前のように、重いトロッコを押し始めた。竹藪は何時か雑木林になった。爪先上りの所所には、赤錆の線路も見えない程、落葉のたまっている場所もあった。その路をやっと登り切ったら、今度は高い崖の向うに、広広と薄ら寒い海が開けた。と同時に良平の頭には、余り遠く来過ぎた事が、急にはっきりと感じられた。
When they came to a place where there was a bamboo grove, the trolley quietly ceased running on its own. The three of them once again began pushing the heavy trolley, as before. Before long the bamboo grove gave way to a wood of scrub trees. On some of the gently rising stretches, fallen leaves lay so thick that the rust-red rails could not even be seen beneath them. When they had at last finished climbing that stretch, this time, beyond a high cliff, a vast and chillingly bleak sea opened out before them. And at that same moment it came over Ryohei, all at once and with sudden clarity, that he had come much too far.
三人は又トロッコへ乗った。車は海を右にしながら、雑木の枝の下を走って行った。しかし良平はさっきのように、面白い気もちにはなれなかった。「もう帰ってくれれば好い」――彼はそうも念じて見た。が、行く所まで行きつかなければ、トロッコも彼等も帰れない事は、勿論彼にもわかり切っていた。
The three of them got on the trolley again. The car ran on beneath the branches of the scrub trees, with the sea now on their right. But Ryohei could no longer feel the enjoyment he had felt a while before. "I wish we'd turn back now" — this too he found himself silently wishing. But he understood perfectly well, of course, that neither the trolley nor the three of them could turn back until they had reached wherever it was they were going.
その次に車の止まったのは、切崩した山を背負っている、藁屋根の茶店の前だった。二人の土工はその店へはいると、乳呑児をおぶった上さんを相手に、悠悠と茶などを飲み始めた。良平は独りいらいらしながら、トロッコのまわりをまわって見た。トロッコには頑丈な車台の板に、跳ねかえった泥が乾いていた。
The next place the car came to a stop was in front of a thatch-roofed teahouse, backed by a mountain that had been cut away. The two workmen went into the shop and, with the mistress of the house — who had a nursing infant strapped to her back — for company, began drinking tea at their leisure. Ryohei, alone and impatient, walked around and around the trolley to pass the time. Mud that had splashed up onto the sturdy boards of its frame had dried there.
少時の後茶店を出て来しなに、巻煙草を耳に挟んだ男は、（その時はもう挟んでいなかったが）トロッコの側にいる良平に新聞紙に包んだ駄菓子をくれた。良平は冷淡に「難有う」と云った。が、直に冷淡にしては、相手にすまないと思い直した。彼はその冷淡さを取り繕うように、包み菓子の一つを口へ入れた。菓子には新聞紙にあったらしい、石油の匀がしみついていた。
A little while later, as they were coming out of the teahouse, the man who had had a cigarette tucked behind his ear (though he no longer had it there by that time) gave Ryohei, who was standing by the trolley, some cheap sweets wrapped in newspaper. Ryohei said, coldly, "Thank you." But he thought better of it at once, feeling it wasn't fair to the man to be so cold about it. As if to make up for that coldness, he put one of the wrapped sweets into his mouth. The sweets had soaked up the smell of kerosene, apparently from the newspaper they had been wrapped in.
三人はトロッコを押しながら緩い傾斜を登って行った。良平は車に手をかけていても、心は外の事を考えていた。
The three of them went on pushing the trolley up a gentle slope. Even with his hands on the car, Ryohei's mind was on other things.
その坂を向うへ下り切ると、又同じような茶店があった。土工たちがその中へはいった後、良平はトロッコに腰をかけながら、帰る事ばかり気にしていた。茶店の前には花のさいた梅に、西日の光が消えかかっている。「もう日が暮れる」――彼はそう考えると、ぼんやり腰かけてもいられなかった。トロッコの車輪を蹴って見たり、一人では動かないのを承知しながらうんうんそれを押して見たり、――そんな事に気もちを紛らせていた。
When they had come all the way down the far side of that slope, there was another teahouse just like the one before. After the workmen went inside, Ryohei sat down on the trolley, his mind fixed on nothing but getting home. In front of the teahouse, the western sunlight was fading away on a plum tree in bloom. "It'll be dark soon" — once he thought this, he could no longer simply sit there idly. He kicked at the trolley's wheels, or, knowing perfectly well that he could not shift it single-handed, strained and heaved at pushing it anyway — distracting himself with things of that sort.
ところが土工たちは出て来ると、車の上の枕木に手をかけながら、無造作に彼にこう云った。
But when the workmen came out, they laid their hands on the ties piled on the car and said this to him, quite offhandedly.
「われはもう帰んな。おれたちは今日は向う泊りだから」
"You'd best head home now. We're stopping over on the far side tonight."
「あんまり帰りが遅くなるとわれの家でも心配するずら」
"If you get back too late your folks'll be worrying about you, won't they."
良平は一瞬間呆気にとられた。もうかれこれ暗くなる事、去年の暮母と岩村まで来たが、今日の途はその三四倍ある事、それを今からたった一人、歩いて帰らなければならない事、――そう云う事が一時にわかったのである。良平は殆ど泣きそうになった。が、泣いても仕方がないと思った。泣いている場合ではないとも思った。彼は若い二人の土工に、取って附けたような御時宜をすると、どんどん線路伝いに走り出した。
Ryohei was, for a moment, dumbstruck. That it was already getting dark, more or less; that at the end of last year he had come as far as Iwamura with his mother, and that today's road was three or four times that far; that he would now have to walk back all alone from here — all of this came over him at once. Ryohei nearly burst into tears. But he thought that crying would do no good. He thought too that this was no time to be crying. He gave the two young workmen a hasty, perfunctory bow, and set off running as fast as he could along the track.
良平は少時無我夢中に線路の側を走り続けた。その内に懐の菓子包みが、邪魔になる事に気がついたから、それを路側へ抛り出す次手に、板草履も其処へ脱ぎ捨ててしまった。すると薄い足袋の裏へじかに小石が食いこんだが、足だけは遙かに軽くなった。彼は左に海を感じながら、急な坂路を駈け登った。時時涙がこみ上げて来ると、自然に顔が歪んで来る。――それは無理に我慢しても、鼻だけは絶えずくうくう鳴った。
For a while Ryohei ran on beside the track in a daze, hardly knowing what he did. Before long he noticed the packet of sweets tucked in his bosom was getting in his way, so, tossing it away at the roadside, he threw off his wooden clogs there as well while he was at it. Small stones then bit straight into the soles of his thin tabi socks, but his feet, at least, felt a great deal lighter. Feeling the sea off to his left, he ran up a steep slope at a dash. Now and then, when tears welled up, his face twisted of its own accord — and however hard he forced himself to hold back, his nose at least kept up a constant sniffling.
竹藪の側を駈け抜けると、夕焼けのした日金山の空も、もう火照りが消えかかっていた。良平は、愈気が気でなかった。往きと返りと変るせいか、景色の違うのも不安だった。すると今度は着物までも、汗の濡れ通ったのが気になったから、やはり必死に駈け続けたなり、羽織を路側へ脱いで捨てた。
When he had run past the bamboo grove, the glow of sunset over the sky above Mount Higane was already fading away. Ryohei's anxiety, more than ever, was past all bearing. Perhaps because going and returning made things look different, the changed scenery too made him uneasy. Then, this time, he began to worry about how thoroughly his clothes had been soaked through with sweat, so, still running on desperately as before, he pulled off his haori and threw it away at the roadside.
蜜柑畑へ来る頃には、あたりは暗くなる一方だった。「命さえ助かれば――」良平はそう思いながら、辷ってもつまずいても走って行った。
By the time he reached the mikan orchards, it was growing darker and darker all around. "As long as I get out of this alive—" thinking this, Ryohei kept running on, slipping and stumbling as he went.
やっと遠い夕闇の中に、村外れの工事場が見えた時、良平は一思いに泣きたくなった。しかしその時もべそはかいたが、とうとう泣かずに駈け続けた。
When at last, far off in the deepening dusk, he caught sight of the work site at the edge of the village, Ryohei wanted, all at once, to burst into tears. But even then, though his face crumpled, he ran on to the end without ever actually crying.
彼の村へはいって見ると、もう両側の家家には、電燈の光がさし合っていた。良平はその電燈の光に、頭から汗の湯気の立つのが、彼自身にもはっきりわかった。井戸端に水を汲んでいる女衆や、畑から帰って来る男衆は、良平が喘ぎ喘ぎ走るのを見ては、「おいどうしたね？」などと声をかけた。が、彼は無言のまま、雑貨屋だの床屋だの、明るい家の前を走り過ぎた。
When he came into his village, the lights of the houses on either side were already shining out across the road. In that electric light, Ryohei could tell quite plainly for himself that steam was rising off the sweat on his head. The women drawing water at the wellside, and the men coming home from the fields, seeing Ryohei run past gasping for breath, called out to him, "Hey, what's the matter?" and the like. But he ran on past the lit-up houses — the general store, the barbershop — without a word.
彼の家の門口へ駈けこんだ時、良平はとうとう大声に、わっと泣き出さずにはいられなかった。その泣き声は彼の周囲へ、一時に父や母を集まらせた。殊に母は何とか云いながら、良平の体を抱えるようにした。が、良平は手足をもがきながら、啜り上げ啜り上げ泣き続けた。その声が余り激しかったせいか、近所の女衆も三四人、薄暗い門口へ集って来た。父母は勿論その人たちは、口口に彼の泣く訣を尋ねた。しかし彼は何と云われても泣き立てるより外に仕方がなかった。あの遠い路を駈け通して来た、今までの心細さをふり返ると、いくら大声に泣き続けても、足りない気もちに迫られながら、…………
When he came running in at the gate of his own house, Ryohei could no longer help it — he burst out crying at last in a loud voice. His crying brought his father and mother crowding around him all at once. His mother especially, saying something or other, took hold of his body as if to gather him in. But Ryohei, flailing his arms and legs, went on crying and sobbing, catching his breath again and again. Perhaps because his voice was so violent, three or four of the neighbor women too came gathering to the dim gateway. His father and mother, and those women besides, all asked him, one after another, why he was crying so. But whatever they said to him, there was nothing for it but to go on crying all the harder. Looking back now on the forlornness of it all, of having run that whole long road to the end — pressed by a feeling that no matter how loudly he went on crying, it could never be enough,..........
良平は二十六の年、妻子と一しょに東京へ出て来た。今では或雑誌社の二階に、校正の朱筆を握っている。が、彼はどうかすると、全然何の理由もないのに、その時の彼を思い出す事がある。全然何の理由もないのに？――塵労に疲れた彼の前には今でもやはりその時のように、薄暗い藪や坂のある路が、細細と一すじ断続している。…………
In the year he turned twenty-six, Ryohei came up to Tokyo together with his wife and child. Nowadays he sits on the second floor of a certain magazine publisher's office, holding a proofreader's red brush. But every so often, for no reason at all, he finds himself remembering himself as he was at that time. For no reason at all? — Even now, before him, worn out as he is by the drudgery of his days, there still runs on, thin and broken, just as it did then, a single road with its dim thickets and its slopes..........