高瀬舟は京都の高瀬川を上下する小舟である。徳川時代に京都の罪人が遠島を申し渡されると、本人の親類が牢屋敷へ呼び出されて、そこで暇乞いをすることを許された。それから罪人は高瀬舟に載せられて、大阪へ回されることであった。それを護送するのは、京都町奉行の配下にいる同心で、この同心は罪人の親類の中で、おも立った一人を大阪まで同船させることを許す慣例であった。これは上へ通った事ではないが、いわゆる大目に見るのであった、黙許であった。
The Takase boat is a small boat that goes up and down the Takase River in Kyoto. In the Tokugawa era, when a criminal in Kyoto was sentenced to banishment to an island, his relatives were summoned to the jailhouse and permitted to take leave of him there. After that the criminal was placed aboard a Takase boat and sent around to Osaka. The one who escorted him was a constable under the Kyoto town magistrate, and it was customary for this constable to allow one of the criminal's relatives — the foremost among them — to ride along in the same boat as far as Osaka. This had not been reported to the authorities above, but was, so to speak, overlooked — a tacit permission.
当時遠島を申し渡された罪人は、もちろん重い科を犯したものと認められた人ではあるが、決して盗みをするために、人を殺し火を放ったというような、獰悪な人物が多数を占めていたわけではない。高瀬舟に乗る罪人の過半は、いわゆる心得違いのために、思わぬ科を犯した人であった。有りふれた例をあげてみれば、当時相対死と言った情死をはかって、相手の女を殺して、自分だけ生き残った男というような類である。
The criminals sentenced to banishment in those days were, of course, people judged to have committed a grave offense, but by no means were the greater part of them violent men who had killed and burned in order to steal. Most of the criminals who rode the Takase boat were people who, through what was called a lapse of judgment, had committed an unlooked-for offense. To give a common example, there was the sort of man who had attempted what was then called a lovers' suicide, killed the woman with him, and survived alone.
そういう罪人を載せて、入相の鐘の鳴るころにこぎ出された高瀬舟は、黒ずんだ京都の町の家々を両岸に見つつ、東へ走って、加茂川を横ぎって下るのであった。この舟の中で、罪人とその親類の者とは夜どおし身の上を語り合う。いつもいつも悔やんでも返らぬ繰り言である。護送の役をする同心は、そばでそれを聞いて、罪人を出した親戚眷族の悲惨な境遇を細かに知ることができた。所詮町奉行の白州で、表向きの口供を聞いたり、役所の机の上で、口書を読んだりする役人の夢にもうかがうことのできぬ境遇である。
The Takase boat, loaded with such a criminal, was rowed out as the evening bell tolled, and going east past the darkened rows of houses along the two banks of the Kyoto streets, it crossed the Kamo River and went downstream. In this boat the criminal and his relative talked the whole night through of their circumstances — always the same regrets, over and over, that no regretting could undo. The constable on escort duty, listening beside them, came to know in detail the wretched circumstances of the family and kin the criminal had come from — circumstances such as an official could never glimpse even in his dreams, hearing only the formal testimony given at the town magistrate's court, or reading depositions at his office desk.
同心を勤める人にも、いろいろの性質があるから、この時ただうるさいと思って、耳をおおいたく思う冷淡な同心があるかと思えば、またしみじみと人の哀れを身に引き受けて、役がらゆえ気色には見せぬながら、無言のうちにひそかに胸を痛める同心もあった。場合によって非常に悲惨な境遇に陥った罪人とその親類とを、特に心弱い、涙もろい同心が宰領してゆくことになると、その同心は不覚の涙を禁じ得ぬのであった。
Among those who served as constables there were various natures — some, finding it merely tiresome, wished only to cover their ears in cold indifference, while others took the sorrow of another deeply to heart and, though their duty kept it from showing on their faces, secretly grieved within, without a word. And when, as sometimes happened, a constable of especially weak heart, easily moved to tears, was assigned to conduct a criminal and relative fallen into a particularly wretched state, that constable could not keep back the tears that came unbidden.
そこで高瀬舟の護送は、町奉行所の同心仲間で不快な職務としてきらわれていた。
So it was that escort duty on the Takase boat was disliked among the constables of the town magistrate's office as an unpleasant task.
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いつのころであったか。たぶん江戸で白河楽翁侯が政柄を執っていた寛政のころででもあっただろう。智恩院の桜が入相の鐘に散る春の夕べに、これまで類のない、珍しい罪人が高瀬舟に載せられた。
It was, I do not know just when — probably around the Kansei era, when Lord Shirakawa Rakuō held the reins of government in Edo. On a spring evening when the cherry blossoms of Chion-in were scattering to the sound of the evening bell, a criminal the like of which had never been seen before was placed aboard the Takase boat.
それは名を喜助と言って、三十歳ばかりになる、住所不定の男である。もとより牢屋敷に呼び出されるような親類はないので、舟にもただ一人で乗った。
His name was Kisuke, a man of about thirty, of no fixed abode. Naturally he had no relative of the kind who would be summoned to the jailhouse, and so he rode the boat quite alone.
護送を命ぜられて、いっしょに舟に乗り込んだ同心羽田庄兵衛は、ただ喜助が弟殺しの罪人だということだけを聞いていた。さて牢屋敷から棧橋まで連れて来る間、この痩肉の、色の青白い喜助の様子を見るに、いかにも神妙に、いかにもおとなしく、自分をば公儀の役人として敬って、何事につけても逆らわぬようにしている。しかもそれが、罪人の間に往々見受けるような、温順を装って権勢に媚びる態度ではない。
Haneda Shobei, the constable ordered to escort him and who boarded the boat together with him, had heard only that Kisuke was a criminal who had killed his own younger brother. Now, watching this thin, pale Kisuke on the way from the jailhouse to the pier, Shobei saw him behave with the greatest meekness, the greatest gentleness, treating Shobei with respect as an official of the shogunate and never opposing him in anything. And yet this was not the attitude, often seen among criminals, of feigning docility in order to curry favor with power.
庄兵衛は不思議に思った。そして舟に乗ってからも、単に役目の表で見張っているばかりでなく、絶えず喜助の挙動に、細かい注意をしていた。
Shobei found this strange. And once aboard the boat, he did not merely stand watch as his duty required, but kept careful, constant attention on Kisuke's every movement.
その日は暮れ方から風がやんで、空一面をおおった薄い雲が、月の輪郭をかすませ、ようよう近寄って来る夏の温かさが、両岸の土からも、川床の土からも、もやになって立ちのぼるかと思われる夜であった。下京の町を離れて、加茂川を横ぎったころからは、あたりがひっそりとして、ただ舳にさかれる水のささやきを聞くのみである。
From dusk that day the wind had died, and a thin cloud covering the whole sky blurred the outline of the moon; it was a night when the warmth of the approaching summer seemed to rise as mist from the soil of both banks and from the bed of the river. From the time they left the streets of Shimogyo behind and crossed the Kamo River, the surroundings grew hushed, so that only the murmur of water parting at the prow could be heard.
夜舟で寝ることは、罪人にも許されているのに、喜助は横になろうともせず、雲の濃淡に従って、光の増したり減じたりする月を仰いで、黙っている。その額は晴れやかで目にはかすかなかがやきがある。
Though sleeping in the night boat was permitted even to a criminal, Kisuke did not lie down, but sat gazing in silence at the moon, whose light grew and faded with the thickness of the clouds. His brow was clear, and there was a faint gleam in his eyes.
庄兵衛はまともには見ていぬが、始終喜助の顔から目を離さずにいる。そして不思議だ、不思議だと、心の内で繰り返している。それは喜助の顔が縦から見ても、横から見ても、いかにも楽しそうで、もし役人に対する気がねがなかったなら、口笛を吹きはじめるとか、鼻歌を歌い出すとかしそうに思われたからである。
Shobei did not look at him directly, but kept his eyes on Kisuke's face the whole time, repeating to himself, again and again, that it was strange, strange. For Kisuke's face, seen from front or from side, looked so pleased that, had he not felt some restraint before an official, he seemed as if he might have started whistling, or humming to himself.
庄兵衛は心の内に思った。これまでこの高瀬舟の宰領をしたことは幾たびだか知れない。しかし載せてゆく罪人は、いつもほとんど同じように、目も当てられぬ気の毒な様子をしていた。それにこの男はどうしたのだろう。遊山船にでも乗ったような顔をしている。罪は弟を殺したのだそうだが、よしやその弟が悪いやつで、それをどんなゆきがかりになって殺したにせよ、人の情としていい心持ちはせぬはずである。この色の青いやせ男が、その人の情というものが全く欠けているほどの、世にもまれな悪人であろうか。どうもそうは思われない。ひょっと気でも狂っているのではあるまいか。いやいや。それにしては何一つつじつまの合わぬことばや挙動がない。この男はどうしたのだろう。庄兵衛がためには喜助の態度が考えれば考えるほどわからなくなるのである。
Shobei thought to himself: there was no telling how many times he had conducted this Takase boat before now, but the criminals he had carried had always, almost without exception, worn a look too pitiful to bear looking at. And what, then, was the matter with this man? He wore the face of one riding a pleasure boat. His crime was said to be the killing of his younger brother, but even granting that the brother had been wicked, and whatever the circumstances that had led to the killing, as a matter of human feeling it ought not to sit well with him. Was this pale, thin man so rare a villain in this world that human feeling was utterly lacking in him? Somehow it did not seem so. Could it be, perhaps, that he was out of his mind? No, no — for there was not a single word or gesture of his that did not hang together. What, then, was the matter with this man? The more Shobei thought about Kisuke's manner, the less he understood it.
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しばらくして、庄兵衛はこらえ切れなくなって呼びかけた。「喜助。お前何を思っているのか。」
After a while, Shobei, unable to bear it any longer, called out to him. "Kisuke. What is it you're thinking about?"
「はい」と言ってあたりを見回した喜助は、何事をかお役人に見とがめられたのではないかと気づかうらしく、居ずまいを直して庄兵衛の気色を伺った。
"Yes," said Kisuke, looking around him, seeming to worry that the officer had found fault with something he had done; he straightened his posture and studied Shobei's expression.
庄兵衛は自分が突然問いを発した動機を明かして、役目を離れた応対を求める言いわけをしなくてはならぬように感じた。そこでこう言った。「いや。別にわけがあって聞いたのではない。実はな、おれはさっきからお前の島へゆく心持ちが聞いてみたかったのだ。おれはこれまでこの舟でおおぜいの人を島へ送った。それはずいぶんいろいろな身の上の人だったが、どれもどれも島へゆくのを悲しがって、見送りに来て、いっしょに舟に乗る親類のものと、夜どおし泣くにきまっていた。それにお前の様子を見れば、どうも島へゆくのを苦にしてはいないようだ。いったいお前はどう思っているのだい。」
Shobei felt he must reveal what had moved him to ask so suddenly, as an excuse for seeking an exchange outside the bounds of his duty. So he said: "No — there was no particular reason I asked. The truth is, I've wanted to ask, for some while now, how you feel about going to the island. I've sent a great many people to the island in this boat up to now. They were people of all kinds of circumstances, but every one of them, without exception, grieved at going to the island, and wept the whole night through together with the relative who came to see them off and rode along in the boat. But looking at you, it doesn't seem that going to the island troubles you at all. Just what is it you're thinking?"
喜助はにっこり笑った。「御親切におっしゃってくだすって、ありがとうございます。なるほど島へゆくということは、ほかの人には悲しい事でございましょう。その心持ちはわたくしにも思いやってみることができます。しかしそれは世間でらくをしていた人だからでございます。京都は結構な土地ではございますが、その結構な土地で、これまでわたくしのいたして参ったような苦しみは、どこへ参ってもなかろうと存じます。お上のお慈悲で、命を助けて島へやってくださいます。島はよしやつらい所でも、鬼のすむ所ではございますまい。わたくしはこれまで、どこといって自分のいていい所というものがございませんでした。こん度お上で島にいろとおっしゃってくださいます。そのいろとおっしゃる所に落ち着いていることができますのが、まず何よりもありがたい事でございます。それにわたくしはこんなにかよわいからだではございますが、ついぞ病気をいたしたことはございませんから、島へ行ってから、どんなつらい仕事をしたって、からだを痛めるようなことはあるまいと存じます。それからこん度島へおやりくださるにつきまして、二百文の鳥目をいただきました。それをここに持っております。」こう言いかけて、喜助は胸に手を当てた。遠島を仰せつけられるものには、鳥目二百銅をつかわすというのは、当時の掟であった。
Kisuke broke into a smile. "Thank you for asking so kindly. To be sure, going to the island must be a sad thing for other people. I can well imagine that feeling myself. But that is because they are people who have had it easy in the world. Kyoto is a fine place, to be sure, but I do not think that anywhere I might go there could be suffering such as I have undergone in that fine place up to now. By the mercy of the authorities, my life is spared and I am sent to the island. However hard a place the island may be, it can hardly be a place where demons live. Up to now there has never been anywhere that I could call a place where I might rightly be. Now the authorities have told me to live on the island. That I am able to settle down in the place they tell me to live is, before anything else, a thing to be grateful for. And though my body is as weak as it is, I have never once been ill in all my life, so I don't imagine that whatever hard work I do on the island, once I get there, will do my body any harm. And then, on being sent to the island this time, I was given two hundred coppers in coin. I have it here with me." So saying, Kisuke put his hand to his breast. To give two hundred coppers to those sentenced to banishment was the rule of the time.
喜助はことばをついだ。「お恥ずかしい事を申し上げなくてはなりませぬが、わたくしは今日まで二百文というお足を、こうしてふところに入れて持っていたことはございませぬ。どこかで仕事に取りつきたいと思って、仕事を尋ねて歩きまして、それが見つかり次第、骨を惜しまずに働きました。そしてもらった銭は、いつも右から左へ人手に渡さなくてはなりませなんだ。それも現金で物が買って食べられる時は、わたくしの工面のいい時で、たいていは借りたものを返して、またあとを借りたのでございます。それがお牢にはいってからは、仕事をせずに食べさせていただきます。わたくしはそればかりでも、お上に対して済まない事をいたしているようでなりませぬ。それにお牢を出る時に、この二百文をいただきましたのでございます。こうして相変わらずお上の物を食べていて見ますれば、この二百文はわたくしが使わずに持っていることができます。お足を自分の物にして持っているということは、わたくしにとっては、これが始めでございます。島へ行ってみますまでは、どんな仕事ができるかわかりませんが、わたくしはこの二百文を島でする仕事の本手にしようと楽しんでおります。」こう言って、喜助は口をつぐんだ。
Kisuke went on. "It is a shameful thing I must tell you, but up to this day I have never once had two hundred coppers to hold in my bosom like this. I would go about looking for work wherever I could get it, and once I found it, I worked without sparing my back. And the money I earned always had to be passed straight on, from one hand to the other, to someone else. Even then, the times I could buy things with cash and eat were the times when I was managing well; mostly I was paying back what I had borrowed, and then borrowing again after that. But once I was put in jail, I was given food to eat without working for it. Even that alone feels to me as though I am doing something wrong before the authorities. And on top of that, when I left the jail, I was given these two hundred coppers. Going on eating the authorities' food as before, this two hundred coppers is something I can keep without spending it. To have money of my own to hold as my own — this is the first time in my life. I don't know what work I will be able to do until I actually get to the island, but I take pleasure in thinking of this two hundred coppers as the capital for whatever work I do there." So saying, Kisuke fell silent.
庄兵衛は「うん、そうかい」とは言ったが、聞く事ごとにあまり意表に出たので、これもしばらく何も言うことができずに、考え込んで黙っていた。
Shobei said only "Hm, is that so," but what he had heard was so far beyond his expectation in every particular that he too, for a while, could say nothing more, and sat sunk in thought, silent.
庄兵衛はかれこれ初老に手の届く年になっていて、もう女房に子供を四人生ませている。それに老母が生きているので、家は七人暮らしである。平生人には吝嗇と言われるほどの、倹約な生活をしていて、衣類は自分が役目のために着るもののほか、寝巻しかこしらえぬくらいにしている。しかし不幸な事には、妻をいい身代の商人の家から迎えた。そこで女房は夫のもらう扶持米で暮らしを立ててゆこうとする善意はあるが、ゆたかな家にかわいがられて育った癖があるので、夫が満足するほど手元を引き締めて暮らしてゆくことができない。ややもすれば月末になって勘定が足りなくなる。すると女房が内証で里から金を持って来て帳尻を合わせる。それは夫が借財というものを毛虫のようにきらうからである。そういう事は所詮夫に知れずにはいない。庄兵衛は五節句だと言っては、里方から物をもらい、子供の七五三の祝いだと言っては、里方から子供に衣類をもらうのでさえ、心苦しく思っているのだから、暮らしの穴をうめてもらったのに気がついては、いい顔はしない。格別平和を破るような事のない羽田の家に、おりおり波風の起こるのは、これが原因である。
Shobei was a man getting on toward old age, and his wife had already borne him four children. His aged mother, too, was still living, so the household numbered seven. He ordinarily lived so frugally that people called him miserly, having made for himself nothing beyond the clothes he needed for his duties and a set of nightclothes. But unhappily, he had taken his wife from the house of a well-to-do merchant. So while his wife had every good intention of making their living on her husband's stipend, she had been raised, pampered, in a wealthy house, and could not keep their affairs as tightly in hand as would satisfy her husband. More often than not, by the end of the month the accounts fell short. Then his wife would secretly bring money from her own family to square the ledger — this because her husband hated the very idea of debt as though it were a caterpillar. Such things could not, in the end, escape her husband's notice. Shobei felt it a burden on his conscience even to receive gifts from her family for the Five Festivals, or clothes for the children at the Shichi-Go-San celebration, so when he realized that a hole in their finances had been filled in this way, he could not look pleased. This was the cause of the occasional stirrings of trouble in the otherwise peaceful household of Haneda.
庄兵衛は今喜助の話を聞いて、喜助の身の上をわが身の上に引き比べてみた。喜助は仕事をして給料を取っても、右から左へ人手に渡してなくしてしまうと言った。いかにも哀れな、気の毒な境界である。しかし一転してわが身の上を顧みれば、彼と我れとの間に、はたしてどれほどの差があるか。自分も上からもらう扶持米を、右から左へ人手に渡して暮らしているに過ぎぬではないか。彼と我れとの相違は、いわば十露盤の桁が違っているだけで、喜助のありがたがる二百文に相当する貯蓄だに、こっちはないのである。
Shobei, having just now heard Kisuke's story, compared Kisuke's situation with his own. Kisuke had said that even when he worked and took wages, the money passed straight from one hand to another and was gone. It was indeed a pitiable, wretched state. But turning to look at his own circumstances instead, how much difference was there, after all, between the man and himself? Did he himself not simply pass on, from one hand to another, the stipend he received from above, and live on nothing more? The difference between the man and himself was, one might say, only a matter of the number of digits on the abacus — for on his own scale he had not even the equivalent of the two hundred coppers that Kisuke was so grateful for.
さて桁を違えて考えてみれば、鳥目二百文をでも、喜助がそれを貯蓄と見て喜んでいるのに無理はない。その心持ちはこっちから察してやることができる。しかしいかに桁を違えて考えてみても、不思議なのは喜助の欲のないこと、足ることを知っていることである。
Now, allowing for the difference in the number of digits, it was no wonder that Kisuke, seeing his two hundred coppers as savings, should be pleased by it. That feeling Shobei could well imagine from where he stood. But however much he allowed for the difference in digits, what struck him as strange was Kisuke's freedom from desire, his knowing what is enough.
喜助は世間で仕事を見つけるのに苦しんだ。それを見つけさえすれば、骨を惜しまずに働いて、ようよう口を糊することのできるだけで満足した。そこで牢に入ってからは、今まで得がたかった食が、ほとんど天から授けられるように、働かずに得られるのに驚いて、生まれてから知らぬ満足を覚えたのである。
Kisuke had struggled in the world to find work. Once he found it, he was satisfied merely to work without sparing his back and thereby just manage to keep himself fed. And so, once he was put in jail, he was astonished that food, which up to then had been so hard to come by, should now come to him almost as though given from heaven, without his working for it, and he felt a satisfaction he had never known since birth.
庄兵衛はいかに桁を違えて考えてみても、ここに彼と我れとの間に、大いなる懸隔のあることを知った。自分の扶持米で立ててゆく暮らしは、おりおり足らぬことがあるにしても、たいてい出納が合っている。手いっぱいの生活である。しかるにそこに満足を覚えたことはほとんどない。常は幸いとも不幸とも感ぜずに過ごしている。しかし心の奥には、こうして暮らしていて、ふいとお役が御免になったらどうしよう、大病にでもなったらどうしようという疑懼が潜んでいて、おりおり妻が里方から金を取り出して来て穴うめをしたことなどがわかると、この疑懼が意識の閾の上に頭をもたげて来るのである。
However much he allowed for the difference in digits, Shobei came to see that there was, here, a great gulf between the man and himself. His own life, sustained by his stipend, though it fell short now and again, generally balanced income against outlay — a life lived to the very limit of his means. And yet he had scarcely ever felt satisfaction in it. Ordinarily he passed his days feeling neither fortunate nor unfortunate. But deep in his heart there lurked a dread — what would he do if, living as he did, he were suddenly relieved of his post, or what would he do if he fell seriously ill — and this dread would raise its head above the threshold of his awareness whenever, now and again, he came to know that his wife had brought out money from her family to fill some hole.
いったいこの懸隔はどうして生じて来るだろう。ただ上べだけを見て、それは喜助には身に係累がないのに、こっちにはあるからだと言ってしまえばそれまでである。しかしそれはうそである。よしや自分が一人者であったとしても、どうも喜助のような心持ちにはなられそうにない。この根底はもっと深いところにあるようだと、庄兵衛は思った。
Just where, then, did this gulf come from? One might, looking only at the surface, say simply that it was because Kisuke had no dependents bound to him while he himself had them. But that would be a lie. Even supposing he himself were a man alone, it did not seem likely that he could come to feel as Kisuke felt. This root, Shobei thought, must lie somewhere deeper.
庄兵衛はただ漠然と、人の一生というような事を思ってみた。人は身に病があると、この病がなかったらと思う。その日その日の食がないと、食ってゆかれたらと思う。万一の時に備えるたくわえがないと、少しでもたくわえがあったらと思う。たくわえがあっても、またそのたくわえがもっと多かったらと思う。かくのごとくに先から先へと考えてみれば、人はどこまで行って踏み止まることができるものやらわからない。それを今目の前で踏み止まって見せてくれるのがこの喜助だと、庄兵衛は気がついた。
Shobei thought, vaguely, about something like the course of a person's whole life. When a person has an illness in his body, he thinks, if only I did not have this illness. When he has no food from one day to the next, he thinks, if only I could manage to eat. When he has no savings set by against some emergency, he thinks, if only I had even a little put by. And once he has savings, he thinks, if only that saved sum were larger still. Thinking on in this way, from one thing to the next, there is no telling how far a person might go before he could stop and stand still. And it was this man Kisuke, Shobei realized, who was showing him, here before his very eyes, how to stop and stand still.
庄兵衛は今さらのように驚異の目をみはって喜助を見た。この時庄兵衛は空を仰いでいる喜助の頭から毫光がさすように思った。
Shobei, as though seeing him anew, looked at Kisuke with eyes wide with wonder. At that moment it seemed to Shobei that a halo of light shone from the head of Kisuke as he gazed up at the sky.
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庄兵衛は喜助の顔をまもりつつまた、「喜助さん」と呼びかけた。今度は「さん」と言ったが、これは充分の意識をもって称呼を改めたわけではない。その声がわが口から出てわが耳に入るや否や、庄兵衛はこの称呼の不穏当なのに気がついたが、今さらすでに出たことばを取り返すこともできなかった。
Shobei, still watching Kisuke's face, called out again, "Kisuke-san." This time he had added "san," though not from any deliberate intention to change the way he addressed him. The instant the sound left his own mouth and reached his own ear, Shobei realized how unfitting this form of address was, but it was too late to take back a word already spoken.
「はい」と答えた喜助も、「さん」と呼ばれたのを不審に思うらしく、おそるおそる庄兵衛の気色をうかがった。
"Yes," answered Kisuke, too, seeming to find it strange to be addressed as "-san," and he looked up timidly to read Shobei's expression.
庄兵衛は少し間の悪いのをこらえて言った。「いろいろの事を聞くようだが、お前が今度島へやられるのは、人をあやめたからだという事だ。おれについでにそのわけを話して聞せてくれぬか。」
Shobei, bearing the slight awkwardness of the moment, said: "I seem to be asking you all sorts of things, but I understand that the reason you are being sent to the island this time is that you took a life. While I'm at it, won't you tell me the reason for it, so I may hear it?"
喜助はひどく恐れ入った様子で、「かしこまりました」と言って、小声で話し出した。「どうも飛んだ心得違いで、恐ろしい事をいたしまして、なんとも申し上げようがございませぬ。あとで思ってみますと、どうしてあんな事ができたかと、自分ながら不思議でなりませぬ。全く夢中でいたしましたのでございます。わたくしは小さい時に二親が時疫でなくなりまして、弟と二人あとに残りました。初めはちょうど軒下に生まれた犬の子にふびんを掛けるように町内の人たちがお恵みくださいますので、近所じゅうの走り使いなどをいたして、飢え凍えもせずに、育ちました。次第に大きくなりまして職を捜しますにも、なるたけ二人が離れないようにいたして、いっしょにいて、助け合って働きました。去年の秋の事でございます。わたくしは弟といっしょに、西陣の織場にはいりまして、空引きということをいたすことになりました。そのうち弟が病気で働けなくなったのでございます。そのころわたくしどもは北山の掘立小屋同様の所に寝起きをいたして、紙屋川の橋を渡って織場へ通っておりましたが、わたくしが暮れてから、食べ物などを買って帰ると、弟は待ち受けていて、わたくしを一人でかせがせてはすまないすまないと申しておりました。ある日いつものように何心なく帰って見ますと、弟はふとんの上に突っ伏していまして、周囲は血だらけなのでございます。わたくしはびっくりいたして、手に持っていた竹の皮包みや何かを、そこへおっぽり出して、そばへ行って『どうしたどうした』と申しました。
Kisuke, looking greatly overcome, said "As you wish," and began to speak in a low voice. "It was, I'm afraid, a dreadful lapse of judgment on my part, a terrible thing I did, and there is no way I can properly explain myself. Even now, thinking back on it, I cannot understand, myself, how I came to do such a thing. I truly did it as though in a dream. When I was small, my parents both died of an epidemic, and I was left behind with my younger brother, the two of us alone. At first the people of the neighborhood took pity on us the way one pities a puppy born under the eaves, and gave us charity, so that, running errands about the neighborhood, we grew up without starving or freezing. As we grew older and began to look for work, we tried, as much as we could, not to be parted, but stayed together and helped each other in our labor. It was last autumn. My brother and I both went to work at a weaving mill in Nishijin, doing what is called draw-loom work. In time my brother fell ill and could no longer work. In those days we were living in what was little better than a shack thrown up in Kitayama, and used to cross the bridge over the Kamiya River to go to the mill. When I came home after dark, having bought something to eat, my brother would be waiting for me and would say, over and over, how sorry, how sorry he was to let me be the only one earning. One day, coming home as usual without thinking anything of it, I found my brother fallen face down on the bedding, and all around him covered in blood. I was so startled that I flung down the bundle of things wrapped in bamboo bark that I was carrying, and went to his side and said, 'What's happened, what's happened.'
すると弟はまっ青な顔の、両方の頬からあごへかけて血に染まったのをあげて、わたくしを見ましたが、物を言うことができませぬ。息をいたすたびに、傷口でひゅうひゅうという音がいたすだけでございます。わたくしにはどうも様子がわかりませんので、『どうしたのだい、血を吐いたのかい』と言って、そばへ寄ろうといたすと、弟は右の手を床に突いて、少しからだを起こしました。左の手はしっかりあごの下の所を押えていますが、その指の間から黒血の固まりがはみ出しています。弟は目でわたくしのそばへ寄るのを留めるようにして口をききました。ようよう物が言えるようになったのでございます。『すまない。どうぞ堪忍してくれ。どうせなおりそうにもない病気だから、早く死んで少しでも兄きにらくがさせたいと思ったのだ。笛を切ったら、すぐ死ねるだろうと思ったが息がそこから漏れるだけで死ねない。深く深くと思って、力いっぱい押し込むと、横へすべってしまった。刃はこぼれはしなかったようだ。これをうまく抜いてくれたらおれは死ねるだろうと思っている。物を言うのがせつなくっていけない。どうぞ手を借して抜いてくれ』と言うのでございます。弟が左の手をゆるめるとそこからまた息が漏ります。わたくしはなんと言おうにも、声が出ませんので、黙って弟の喉の傷をのぞいて見ますと、なんでも右の手に剃刀を持って、横に笛を切ったが、それでは死に切れなかったので、そのまま剃刀を、えぐるように深く突っ込んだものと見えます。柄がやっと二寸ばかり傷口から出ています。わたくしはそれだけの事を見て、どうしようという思案もつかずに、弟の顔を見ました。
Then my brother raised toward me a face gone deathly pale, the blood staining both his cheeks down to his chin, but he could not speak. Each time he breathed, there came only a whistling sound from the wound. I could not make out what had happened, so I said, 'What is it, have you brought up blood?' and tried to go closer, when my brother, bracing his right hand on the bedding, raised himself a little. His left hand pressed hard against the place under his chin, and from between his fingers a dark clot of blood was showing through. My brother, with his eyes, seemed to hold me back from coming closer, and spoke. He had just then become able to speak. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Since it's a sickness that isn't likely to get better anyway, I thought I'd die quickly and give you some ease, even a little. I thought that if I cut my windpipe I'd die right away, but the breath only leaks out from there and I can't die. I meant to push it in deep, deep, and pressed with all my strength, but it slid sideways. It seems the blade didn't chip. If you could pull it out well for me I think I could die. It's too painful to talk. Please, lend me a hand and pull it out.' When my brother loosened his left hand, the breath leaked out from there again. I could say nothing, no voice would come, and I only looked in silence at the wound in my brother's throat; it seemed that he had taken a razor in his right hand and cut his windpipe sideways, but as he could not die that way, he had then thrust the razor straight in, as though to gouge deeper. The handle stuck out from the wound by only about two inches. Seeing that much, and with no idea what I should do, I looked at my brother's face.
弟はじっとわたくしを見詰めています。わたくしはやっとの事で、『待っていてくれ、お医者を呼んで来るから』と申しました。弟は恨めしそうな目つきをいたしましたが、また左の手で喉をしっかり押えて、『医者がなんになる、あゝ苦しい、早く抜いてくれ、頼む』と言うのでございます。わたくしは途方に暮れたような心持ちになって、ただ弟の顔ばかり見ております。こんな時は、不思議なもので、目が物を言います。弟の目は『早くしろ、早くしろ』と言って、さも恨めしそうにわたくしを見ています。わたくしの頭の中では、なんだかこう車の輪のような物がぐるぐる回っているようでございましたが、弟の目は恐ろしい催促をやめません。それにその目の恨めしそうなのがだんだん険しくなって来て、とうとう敵の顔をでもにらむような、憎々しい目になってしまいます。それを見ていて、わたくしはとうとう、これは弟の言ったとおりにしてやらなくてはならないと思いました。わたくしは『しかたがない、抜いてやるぞ』と申しました。すると弟の目の色がからりと変わって、晴れやかに、さもうれしそうになりました。わたくしはなんでもひと思いにしなくてはと思ってひざを撞くようにしてからだを前へ乗り出しました。弟は突いていた右の手を放して、今まで喉を押えていた手のひじを床に突いて、横になりました。わたくしは剃刀の柄をしっかり握って、ずっと引きました。この時わたくしの内から締めておいた表口の戸をあけて、近所のばあさんがはいって来ました。留守の間、弟に薬を飲ませたり何かしてくれるように、わたくしの頼んでおいたばあさんなのでございます。
My brother kept his eyes fixed steadily on me. At last I managed to say, 'Wait, I'll go and call a doctor.' My brother gave me a resentful look, and pressing his throat hard again with his left hand, said, 'What good is a doctor — ah, the agony of it, pull it out quickly, I beg you.' I felt as though I were utterly at a loss, and could only go on looking at my brother's face. At such a time, strange as it may sound, the eyes speak. My brother's eyes said, 'Hurry, hurry,' looking at me with what seemed to be resentment. Inside my head something like a wheel seemed to be spinning round and round, but my brother's eyes did not let up their terrible urging. And their look of resentment grew steadily fiercer, until at last they became hateful eyes, as though glaring at the face of an enemy. Seeing this, I finally thought that I must do just as my brother had said. I said, 'There's no help for it, I'll pull it out.' At that my brother's eyes changed all at once, becoming bright and clear, as though truly glad. I thought I must do it all in one motion, and thrusting forward on my knees, I leaned my body forward. My brother let go the right hand he had been bracing himself with, and, resting the elbow of the hand that had been pressing his throat on the bedding, lay himself down sideways. I gripped the handle of the razor firmly and pulled it straight out. At that moment an old woman from the neighborhood, opening the front door that I had locked from inside, came in. She was the old woman I had asked to give my brother his medicine and see to him while I was away.
もうだいぶ内のなかが暗くなっていましたから、わたくしにはばあさんがどれだけの事を見たのだかわかりませんでしたが、ばあさんはあっと言ったきり、表口をあけ放しにしておいて駆け出してしまいました。わたくしは剃刀を抜く時、手早く抜こう、まっすぐに抜こうというだけの用心はいたしましたが、どうも抜いた時の手ごたえは、今まで切れていなかった所を切ったように思われました。刃が外のほうへ向いていましたから、外のほうが切れたのでございましょう。わたくしは剃刀を握ったまま、ばあさんのはいって来てまた駆け出して行ったのを、ぼんやりして見ておりました。ばあさんが行ってしまってから、気がついて弟を見ますと、弟はもう息が切れておりました。傷口からはたいそうな血が出ておりました。それから年寄衆がおいでになって、役場へ連れてゆかれますまで、わたくしは剃刀をそばに置いて、目を半分あいたまま死んでいる弟の顔を見詰めていたのでございます。」
It had already grown quite dark inside, so I don't know how much the old woman managed to see, but she only cried out and, leaving the front door standing wide open, ran off. When I pulled out the razor I was careful only to pull it quickly and straight, but the feel of it as it came out seemed to me as though it had cut through a place that had not been cut before. Since the blade had been turned outward, it must have been the outer side that was cut. I sat holding the razor, staring blankly as I watched the old woman come in and then run off again. After she had gone, I came to myself and looked at my brother, and found that his breath had already stopped. A great deal of blood had come from the wound. After that, until the elders of the neighborhood arrived and I was taken to the ward office, I sat with the razor beside me, gazing at my brother's face, dead with his eyes half open."
少しうつ向きかげんになって庄兵衛の顔を下から見上げて話していた喜助は、こう言ってしまって視線をひざの上に落とした。
Kisuke, who had been telling his story with his head somewhat bowed, looking up at Shobei from below, having said this much, let his eyes fall to his knees.
喜助の話はよく条理が立っている。ほとんど条理が立ち過ぎていると言ってもいいくらいである。これは半年ほどの間、当時の事を幾たびも思い浮かべてみたのと、役場で問われ、町奉行所で調べられるそのたびごとに、注意に注意を加えてさらってみさせられたのとのためである。
Kisuke's account held together very well in its reasoning — one might almost say too well. This was because, over the course of about half a year, he had recalled those events to mind again and again, and because each time he was questioned at the ward office and examined at the town magistrate's court, he had been made to go over it once more, adding care upon care.
庄兵衛はその場の様子を目のあたり見るような思いをして聞いていたが、これがはたして弟殺しというものだろうか、人殺しというものだろうかという疑いが、話を半分聞いた時から起こって来て、聞いてしまっても、その疑いを解くことができなかった。弟は剃刀を抜いてくれたら死なれるだろうから、抜いてくれと言った。それを抜いてやって死なせたのだ、殺したのだとは言われる。しかしそのままにしておいても、どうせ死ななくてはならぬ弟であったらしい。それが早く死にたいと言ったのは、苦しさに耐えなかったからである。喜助はその苦を見ているに忍びなかった。苦から救ってやろうと思って命を絶った。それが罪であろうか。殺したのは罪に相違ない。しかしそれが苦から救うためであったと思うと、そこに疑いが生じて、どうしても解けぬのである。
Shobei listened as though seeing the scene before his own eyes, but the doubt of whether this could truly be called killing a brother, could truly be called murder, arose in him from halfway through the account, and even after hearing it all, he could not resolve that doubt. The brother had said that if Kisuke would pull out the razor he could die, and had asked him to pull it out. That he pulled it out and let him die, that he killed him, can be said. But it seemed the brother was one who, even if left as he was, would have had to die anyway. That he said he wanted to die quickly was because he could not bear the suffering. Kisuke could not bear to watch that suffering. Meaning to save him from suffering, he had ended his brother's life. Was that a crime? That he killed him is beyond doubt a crime. But when he thought that it was in order to save him from suffering, a doubt arose there that, however he tried, he could not resolve.
庄兵衛の心の中には、いろいろに考えてみた末に、自分よりも上のものの判断に任すほかないという念、オオトリテエに従うほかないという念が生じた。庄兵衛はお奉行様の判断を、そのまま自分の判断にしようと思ったのである。そうは思っても、庄兵衛はまだどこやらにふに落ちぬものが残っているので、なんだかお奉行様に聞いてみたくてならなかった。
In Shobei's heart, after turning the matter over in various ways, there arose the feeling that there was nothing to do but leave the judgment to one above himself, a feeling that there was nothing to do but submit to Authority. Shobei meant to make the magistrate's judgment, just as it was, his own judgment. Yet even thinking so, there remained, somewhere in him, something he could not settle in his own mind, and he could not help wanting, somehow, to ask the magistrate himself.
次第にふけてゆくおぼろ夜に、沈黙の人二人を載せた高瀬舟は、黒い水の面をすべって行った。
Into the deepening, hazy night, the Takase boat, bearing its two silent passengers, glided on over the black face of the water.